Staff application: SergeantRKTimes

Real life - General Information

Name:
Sergej (yes, really)

Sirname*:
(this is suppsed to be "sUrname".. when will u greeks finally learn proper english?!) Kaiser

Age:
29

Occupation / Field of expertise:
im studying advanced statistics

Hobbies:
mma, bodybuilding, sex with my pensi, dota (order of items does not necessarily represent the priority of stated hobbies to the applicant)



Battle.net

Your Battle.Net name [Main Account]:
SergeantRKTimes (the "RK" stands for rek)

Alternative Battle.Net accounts:
im no retarded smurfshit homo faggit..

Are you an admin in our games?
good u bring up dat question! actually im not, however, i think i certainly should be!

How many times have you been banned in our games?
well like 3 or 4 times i guess. but i always got unbanned immediately cause it was an unfortunate misunderstanding

How many times have you been warned or demoted?
warned? what u mean? hated warns me all the time but i guess that dont count?!

How often do you play in our games?
depends. atm my gf is abroad so i have lots of times u no. each day, couple of days a week, depends.

What are your stats in our HostBots (type .stats in Irc):
8/9/10



Forum

How often do you visit our forums?
almost never, just to report fucking ruiners

What do you usually do when you visit our forums?
report ruiners

Have you ever been a staff member before? If yes, at which forum and at what position?
i was working at dunkin donuts before and i tell you that fucking smoothie machine was driving me crazy!!!! well, guess you could say i already gathered lots of experience in that field.
oh, lel, i should have read the end of the question too.. "at which FORUM".. hmm, i once was administrator of my own forum where i uploaded pictures of bridges and birds and shit. good god, i was pretty gay once..

Have you ever been banned in our forums? If yes, what was the reason and the duration of the ban?
no, im a good parson

Do you have any problems following orders from your superiors, according to ranks and hierarchy?
lemme tell u one thing, sweetheart: nobody be telling the sergeant what to do. there is only few ppl i respect in this sewer you call gaming platform. and that only because the size of their pensis remotely matches mine. these ppl no who i mean. ofc one of em is hermies. i think i have met like 2 or 3 parsons in my life so far that are what a poet would call "true of heart". i dont know him long enough but im pretty sure he is one of these kind of ppl. and there is also a little greek faggit that i pretty much respect and that, however, sometimes doesnt team me because he rather teams girls cause he is so desperate or whatnot, i dno.. but honestly, he doesnt have it easy with me too sometimes..
whatever. what i wanted to say: i wouldnt argue with these two above mentioned honest men.


Skills - Availability

How much time can you spend in our forums?
0 minutes. its useless. when theres one thing i learned being a bouncer: talking is for the weak. you talk with ppl, you discuss, ppl think ur weak. only thing that counts is actions. kicks and bans. thats the word of the street.

How much time can you spend playing games and ensuring that all our rules are followed?
every minute i play. i do not tolerate any deviant misbehaviour. i will rule with an iron fist.

Do you have any programming skills*?
i can code a bit in stata. (basic stuff)

What is your relation with computers and their "software"*?
i grew up with it. i fixed basically every pc of my family and my friends' family and their families. its not very unlikely that i even fixed YOUR pc. u just dont remember.

Mention a few programs that you can operate at a basic level at least*:
notepad, calculator, windows explorer.. how stupid of a question is that!?!?

Are you familiar with Dota Replay Manager and Maphack Detecting*?
thats tools with like 5 buttons. im not mentally challenged or shit. wtf is wrong with u?

How good is your English*?
unlike urs, pretty decent


Personality

Describe yourself with a few words:
hey there, im the sergeant! im sure all of you no me from movies like "omg serge, wtf!?" or "reshare, i upped it!!"

How often do you get in a fight?
well, since im a bouncer: twice a week (i mean on two days of the week. im not counting how often on EACH of these two days)

Do you like taking the initiative?
holy moly, i certainly do! what!? somebody did fucking pause again? i'll be there, you can count on me buddy!

Do you think that you will face any difficulties being a staff member?
rumors have it that i occassionally tend to get a bit overwhelmed by my emotions. but this barely impairs my rational decision making ability. so the answer is: no, i dont

Do you think that teamwork and cooperation are two things you are going to need as a staff member?
tbh: no. i think that the most efficient form to rule an organization is dictatorship. and if you make me your CEO ill make this bot shine in all it's former glory. lets make mymgn great again!


Clan NoL Staff

Why do you want to become a staff member;
lol, what a dumb question. i want to kick and ban all the faggits that are too limited to comprehend my advanced gaming tactics.

What position in the staff team are you insterested in;
head kicker/banner

Would you be willing to fill in a different position?
nigga u cray? i wont waste my precious lifetime to do something else than i was made for. kickbanning fucking ass!

Do you know the current hierarchy of the Clan NoL Staff;
just roughly. i no hermie is master of the universe (all hail to our dota overlord! praiseth him and may the eternal flame be burnin within thee heart for the lifetime of one thousand dragons!) and then comes hated, frenzy, bus and then some other fuckers i dont like..

Do you know who Leonidas is?
some stupid lord of the ring character i guess, bitch pls..


Others

Your Q-AUTHentication in mIrc/Irc webchat (nickname):
i wasnt online for years, i have to recreate one

Skype*:
i gotta look it up, im not at home

Do you want to add anything else?
stop feeding hated, seriously.. stop feeding

edit: sorry, i forgot to underline the headlines. im too german to not precicely follow the restrictions.
edit2: omg, wait, i just now realize i may have applied for the wrong department. i mean, i can ban and kick being a stuff member, rite? i dont need to be admin for it?! i thought staff rights >> admin rights. thus i directly applied for the chief position.